To be a man or a woman, is one easier?

So which gender has it easier? The answer varies, depending upon your circumstances, emotional state, where you live and what you do for a living.  

Most women point at difficulties, ranging from feeling vulnerable both inside and outside their homes. They live with the fear of assault for just being a woman. They navigate misogyny and gender inequality both at homes and workplaces. 

“Everything is free for men,” says Zeynep Yasar, a 59-year-old babysitter, complaining how her husband does not care about housework and kids. “There is no question life for women is more difficult than men,” Yasar, who lives in Istanbul, tells TRT World. 

“Women cannot walk outside feeling as safe as men,” Yasar says. 

Aysegul Elif Sofuoglu, a 33-year-old supervisor at a private bank in Istanbul, agrees with Yasar, even finding the question “Which one is easier” as “shameful”. 

“It’s clear men are having easier lives than women,” she tells TRT World. She could not find any possible aspect, where men could have less difficulties. “Men rule over the world, deciding on many issues from how we should be dressed to what kind of last names we should get,” she says. 

She draws attention to the fact that hijabi women in Turkey were banned from attending schools during the postmodern February 28 coup in 1997, while men - whether conservatives or not - continued to attend school because they did not follow any mandatory dress code. 

She also points out that a lot of women suffer from violence, abuse and murders. According to a 2017 survey, at least 66,000 women are violently killed every year and 17 percent of those killings are intentional homicides called femicides. 

In the top 25 highest femicide rates, half of them are in Latin American countries. A 2000 UN report also cited that nearly 5,000 women are murdered each year in honour killings. 

Sofuoglu, a married woman, also complains that some of modernity’s inventions create more difficulties for female life. 90-60-90, the controversial modern body measurement of ‘beautiful’ women, “is not something making women's lives easier,” she says. 

“There is no ideal body size for men. They could be fat and anything else. But we should be on an eternal diet to be fit according to this concept,” Sofuoglu says. As a result, she thinks that while modern life liberates women in many aspects, it still extends men’s domination over other aspects, like 90 60 90. 

She still thinks that men have some trouble, like the public display of emotions. 

Emotional dimension

The emotional aspect does throw up difficulties for men. 

According to psychologists, like Michael C. Reichert, men always feel they need to stay strong to accommodate the rules of ‘being a man’, which puts a lot of pressure on them. “Boys take their experiences to heart, feeling weak and ashamed when they need comfort,” Reinhert wrote.

“Plan International USA, a nonprofit group focused on children’s rights, commissioned a study among 10- to 19-year-olds that found nearly three-quarters of boys said they felt pressure to be physically strong and nearly half of the 14 to 19-year-old male respondents felt pressure to be “willing to punch someone if provoked,” he explains. 

Being physically strong does not mean you will have an easier life and will be targeted less, according to Reichert. 

“High school boys are more likely than girls to have been in a physical fight in the past year and male children are more likely to have been victims of violence. Three types of male violence — violence against women, violence against other men and violence against themselves — are deeply interwoven,” Reichert observed. 

But he also adds that “Boys don’t come into the world with some inborn tendency toward domination or violence”, meaning that they learn this in life due to the socialisation process. “The problem is rooted in boys’ socialisation, which is characterised by physical discipline, control and disdain for weakness,” he viewed. 

Even in our modern era, various socialisation processes across the globe teach men that they need to defend their countries when there is a war. Also, as a father or a husband, men feel a strong need to defend their wives and children against any external aggression. 

Politics is also strongly involved in the way people approach the battle of the sexes. 

According to a 2017 study, conducted by Pew Research Center in the US, approximately half of Democrats find men’s life easier, while 68 percent of Republicans think there is no difference related to gender. 

Sofuoglu’s daughter, Amine Nazli, a 10-year-old primary school student, wants to make peace with both sides. Despite the fierce criticism towards men from both her mother and babysitter, she thinks she has a good father. 

“I think both sides have difficult lives,” she concludes.